Alex's quotes and humor page

Quotes and humor that I have found, primarily in books, which I thought to be interesting, screwed up, funny, or I just wanted to remember.

Funny Quotes

Serious quotes

Other Sites'

My Favorites

"I thought you didn't believe in God."

"I don't. But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."

--Yossarian and Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife on God

--Catch-22, page 190

"This is like being an arctic explorer who has just stumbled upon aliens, you're like, what the hell, lets go get some more harddrives."

--Aaron, on discovering Priory financial data on one of the robotics team's new computers

"Vimes, you have gone insane. You can't arrest the commander of an army."

"Actually, Mr. Vimes, I think we could. And the army, too. I mean, I don't see why we can't. We could charge them with behavior likely to cause a breach of the peace, sir. I mean, that's what warfare is."

--Lord Rust and Carrot, on whether or not Vimes can arrest the Klatchian and Ankh-Morporkian armies

--Jingo, pg. 387

"I didn't have any warning at all."

"Yeah, you have to admire their sense of tradition, don't you?"

--Admiral Seaton and Dr. Ron Jones, on the outbreak of war between Japan and America

--Debt of Honor, pg. 356

More quotes and jokes are always welcome. EMail me some if you have any good ones

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